I finally started the process of kinda moving to NY--I got a one-way plane ticket that landed me here last Friday and booked a hostel for a week. I told myself that I would give myself about a week--2 weeks top--to secure a job, if not start working, and an extra week to find a place to rent. If I didn't, I would simply go back to KY and search for a job around Nashville because I didn't want to deplete my savings for nothing.
Ideally, I would get a job offer from Ken and Isaac at KaufmanFranco and would spend the week looking for a safe and clean place to stay. Good news for me, Isaac emailed me back almost immediately and asked if I would come in so we could talk. That talk happened today, and it seems like they would like to hire me, but that would mean firing the girl who has been in that position for the last couple months. It's an iffy position to be in--I still may not get the job, and if I do, I won't hear anything for at least a week.
I gotta be honest--I'm nervous. Or is anxious a better word?
In order for me to stay in NY, I need a job, in order to get a job, I have to commit a lot of time, effort, and money because I have a waaaayyy better chance of getting an interview (not even a job, just an interview) if I'm already here, and I have limited resources.
All in all, I've been asking myself, "is this all worth it?"
I'm here alone, miss John terribly because I don't know when I'll see him next, stressed about money--will I have enough to afford a clean place, not full with bedbugs, cockroaches, or other pests?, I can only afford a place like that if I have a roommate, but will I find one who's clean, not creepy, and not have to share a single bathroom with 4 other people? Will I be conned out of $3,000 because I trusted the wrong people?
Do I even want to live here anymore? Because right now, I feel like I'm sacrificing a lot more than any potential return.
*Sigh* I'm sorry this post is such a downer, but I really needed to get it off my chest.
And also, John just needs a shout-out because he's been super supportive with whatever I choose--if I stay in NY, he'll visit me, if I go back to KY, great! Because it's only a 5-hr drive from where he'll be stationed in Alabama and he'll be visiting his mom anyway, do I need a place to stay? His place is always open. We've been in constant communication since, well, since the night we met honestly. Guys, like I really really like him--dare I write 'love'? After all, the internet is forever--but yes, I love John and I'm really glad we're together. Ugh, this feels so cheesy, but just talking--typing?--about him makes me feel better. He spoils me and sets the bar higher than my previous standards for any other guy that might come along.
Hopefully, I'll look back at this post in a couple weeks and ask myself why I was so worried. Even if it doesn't work out here in NY, then at least I can say I tried.