Another thing I’ve been able to do over the winter break is listen to music. A lot. I’m currently working my way though every single music track I own, and I’ve been amazed at the variety of artists and different styles of music that I own. You see, recently music has found its way back into my life after a year hiatus (more on that another time), and I’m surprised how I managed a year without it! As such, I thought I’d introduce at least one central theme for my blogs: a song of the week! There’s always that one song that won’t get out of my head, and by the end of the week, I’ve either fallen in love with it or I want to destroy the sheet music of whatever artist recorded it. Sometimes the song that I’m listening to is quite embarrassing, but I’m going to be honest with this blog and just post it anyway. What do I have to lose?
This week, the song that has been on replay was by pure accident. I actually heard it in a store as I was doing some after-Christmas-I-have-lots-of-gift-cards shopping, and it reminded me of a similar version on Glee that was performed in a recent episode. However, this is one circumstance that I have to say I prefer the original.
This actually leads me to something that I’ve struggled with over the last semester. As much as I don’t like to admit it, I actually am a bit of a perfectionist. So, when I transferred to Vanderbilt from the University of Kentucky this past semester, I expected to maintain the same high level of performance in my schoolwork… That didn’t exactly happen. Granted, I’m still relatively pleased with the past semester, but after achieving so much for such a long time, I feel as though I’ve let myself down. I’ve always been my biggest rival, pushing myself to learn more, study longer, achieve more. Unfortunately I’ve also found out I can push myself too much, to the point that my expectations exceeded my actual ability to adapt to a more academically challenging environment. AKA I ran out of time to do everything. Which, if I’m being completely honest, kind of sucked. And I’ve felt so much less than perfect, undeserving of all that God has granted me in this transfer to such a wonderful school.
Hello 2012. This is my year (and semester) to pull myself back, reevaluate my time, and take a different approach to my crazy schedule. I always take on a lot: 19 hours of coursework, a 10 hour work week, singing and performing with an a cappella group, President of a student programming board, Pencil Projects tutoring. What will be different this year is that I won’t be afraid to say, “I have too much to do,” and either drop something or ask someone for help. I’m not perfect. I realize that. But I do feel that I’m in the right place in my life to take a look around and just stop and breathe. If only for a moment.
My resolution for this year is to know when to stop. To be able to hang out with my friends when I want to. To not overwhelm myself. To know when to ask for help. But most of all, to trust in God to see me though another wonderful year, growing in my faith and showing more love to others than ever before.
Hello from Amber. “Welcome to my silly life.”
I wouldn’t have it any other way.