Hello from a jar of Nutella and a giant wooden spoon. Do you guys ever think about what to blog about early in the week, come up with something sort of profound or deep or at least worth thinking about...and then it gets to your blog day and you either forget or you're just kind of "oh naw?" I think that's what happened to me today. I was going to take off on this whole philosophical rant about hypocrisy and indecision, but then I was like, "Hmm, maybe I'll do funny quotes from my professors instead." So, without further ado, here are a few quotes from the professors I've had over the years that I have found very entertaining. (Oh, and even if you know who said these or what class it was, please don't comment. I wouldn't want any of my professors to be identified by saying these things, even if they are hilarious and awesome.)
Things You Hear in Film/English Classes:
“[Mumblecore films] are just movies made by twenty-something hipsters who are too busy shopping at Urban Outfitters to write a script.”
“Crocodile Dundee would punch you in the face.”
“Colonial ambivalence is like when you’re dating a person and you realize it’s not working out, but it’s so easy to stay in the relationship, but it’s kinda meh.”
“Hardee’s: Nutritional Terrorism. Get it before it gets you.”
“The second act is like the desert where screenplays go to die.”
“Lonesome Rhodes is like a wiser Justin Bieber.”
“That’s what happens when you write articles on torture porn.”
“Brundlefly uses his newfound hypermasculinity to neuter Beard Guy.”
“He tells his problems to the monkeys. If you go to grad school, you’ll probably be like this, too.”
“This was explanatory but not satisfactory...we’re all going to die from Redneck Torture Zombies.”
“Mary Poppins could magically get the dead children out of the chimneys.”
“Now your iPod is made by a nine-year-old Oliver in China.”
“I’m sure [Queen] Victoria was guzzling vodka behind the scenes after she got out of her corset.”
“Why are we killing people?!? This is not the Hunger Games!”
“People love stories about creepy people.”
“Maybe your Google is racist.”
“If [Bill Sikes from Oliver Twist] had grown up in the country and listened to a lot of Alan Jackson, he would have turned out fine.”
“I’m actually really glad that guy got eaten by a bear.”
“The baby ones, if you throw them in the fire, they crackle more.”
Professor: “What’s going on today?”
Student: “It’s Friday.”
Professor: “Thank you, Rebecca Black.”
“Sorry we exterminated you. Can we buy this dreamcatcher?”
On getting older: “I think it’s fine until you’re Jesus’ age. Then you start thinking you could’ve done more with your life.”
“Nobody wears an orange jumpsuit for fun.”
“What is reality, and who wants to see Kennedy get shot?”
And then there's the most infamous:
“It’s a good idea not to marry too young in the creative writing business. You’ve gotta sleep your way to the top. It works the same way with film.”
Yay for taking things out of context! I really do like all of these professors, though. I'm not making fun of them, just sharing what you guys missed by not taking their classes. Do you have any funny professor quotes? Share them in the comments!
And now for other random things...
Blogging about Jennifer Lawrence because Rachael suggested it!
This is a story about Jennifer Lawrence...
Things You Hear in Film/English Classes:
“[Mumblecore films] are just movies made by twenty-something hipsters who are too busy shopping at Urban Outfitters to write a script.”
“Crocodile Dundee would punch you in the face.”
“Colonial ambivalence is like when you’re dating a person and you realize it’s not working out, but it’s so easy to stay in the relationship, but it’s kinda meh.”
“Hardee’s: Nutritional Terrorism. Get it before it gets you.”
“The second act is like the desert where screenplays go to die.”
“Lonesome Rhodes is like a wiser Justin Bieber.”
“That’s what happens when you write articles on torture porn.”
“Brundlefly uses his newfound hypermasculinity to neuter Beard Guy.”
“He tells his problems to the monkeys. If you go to grad school, you’ll probably be like this, too.”
“This was explanatory but not satisfactory...we’re all going to die from Redneck Torture Zombies.”
“Mary Poppins could magically get the dead children out of the chimneys.”
“Now your iPod is made by a nine-year-old Oliver in China.”
“I’m sure [Queen] Victoria was guzzling vodka behind the scenes after she got out of her corset.”
“Why are we killing people?!? This is not the Hunger Games!”
“People love stories about creepy people.”
“Maybe your Google is racist.”
“If [Bill Sikes from Oliver Twist] had grown up in the country and listened to a lot of Alan Jackson, he would have turned out fine.”
“I’m actually really glad that guy got eaten by a bear.”
“The baby ones, if you throw them in the fire, they crackle more.”
Professor: “What’s going on today?”
Student: “It’s Friday.”
Professor: “Thank you, Rebecca Black.”
“Sorry we exterminated you. Can we buy this dreamcatcher?”
On getting older: “I think it’s fine until you’re Jesus’ age. Then you start thinking you could’ve done more with your life.”
“Nobody wears an orange jumpsuit for fun.”
“What is reality, and who wants to see Kennedy get shot?”
And then there's the most infamous:
“It’s a good idea not to marry too young in the creative writing business. You’ve gotta sleep your way to the top. It works the same way with film.”
Yay for taking things out of context! I really do like all of these professors, though. I'm not making fun of them, just sharing what you guys missed by not taking their classes. Do you have any funny professor quotes? Share them in the comments!
And now for other random things...
Blogging about Jennifer Lawrence because Rachael suggested it!
This is a story about Jennifer Lawrence...
In other news...
- I've decided to continue with the CE/T (thesis) track in the Honors College. Yay...? I hope it won't be awful. I'm either going to write a screenplay or a...some kind of fiction-y goodness that's not a screenplay. Or make a movie. Or something. I have two ideas for stories, but they're like novel-y ideas. I don't really see either one as a screenplay at this point. I could write a novella...People have done that for a thesis before.
Novel = over 40,000 words
Novella = 17,500 to 40,000 words
Novelette = 7,500 to 17,500 words
Short story = under 7,500 words
- The Lizzie Bennet Diaries was so EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! today. I just felt the need to tell you. lol. I just kind of flailed and squeed for a while. Ahg! The end! :)
- Speaking of ALL THE FEELINGS, I finished reading The Madness Underneath. And. I just. I can't even. I can't talk to you guys about it yet, either, but LAJFD;LAJSD;FAHS;DOFIAJ;F!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Jill's reading it now. Sara, you could be next IF you watch Serenity! Yay bribery!
- Buried treasure, guys!!!!!! If you watch SourceFed, you probably already know about this. But Jill alerted me to it today, and YOU GUYS THIS IS THE QUEST WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR! And by "we" I guess I mean "me." Actually, back in high school, I used to frequent this online treasure hunting forum and I learned about all kinds of lost treasures. I tried to get my friends and family in on it. I wanted to actually go to these places and hunt for the hidden riches, not for the sake of getting rich, necessarily, but for the adventure of it all. But nothing I learned about has been as legit as this! This is a guy living now, saying "I buried a treasure." It's real! Well...I mean, he has been under investigation for grave robbing and stuff, but this treasure must be legit. Really. Let's go. Let's find it! Here, have some more information. Read the poem. What do you think the clues point to? Leave your theories in the comments
Movies of the Month
It's March tomorrow! And in honor of a new month, here are my recommendations for March's new releases:
Oz The Great and Powerful (March 8)
As you can probably tell from the title, it's a Wizard of Oz spin-off type thing, revolving around a magician (James Franco) who travels to a magical land and gets the chance to become a powerful wizard. Or something. It's a Disney film from the producers of the recent live action Alice in Wonderland, which was really good, in my opinion. From the trailer, Oz looks to be intriguing and whimsical. It's going to be offered in 3D, of course, but even in 2D it seems to be a movie that's worth seeing on the big screen.
Also starring: Rachel Weisz, Mila Kunis, Zach Braff, Michelle Williams
As you can probably tell from the title, it's a Wizard of Oz spin-off type thing, revolving around a magician (James Franco) who travels to a magical land and gets the chance to become a powerful wizard. Or something. It's a Disney film from the producers of the recent live action Alice in Wonderland, which was really good, in my opinion. From the trailer, Oz looks to be intriguing and whimsical. It's going to be offered in 3D, of course, but even in 2D it seems to be a movie that's worth seeing on the big screen.
Also starring: Rachel Weisz, Mila Kunis, Zach Braff, Michelle Williams
Upside Down (March 15)
Dystopian world? Check. Cool sci-fi other planet stuff ? Check. Forbidden love affair between pretty people? Check. Said pretty people on another planet defying the big, bad government that's trying to keep them apart? Double check.
Basically, this movie has a lot of elements that are right up my alley. Plus it looks visually stunning and well produced. It's also really interesting that the main characters are named Adam (Jim Sturgess) and Eden (Kirsten Dunst), and they're separated. And there's falling. Just saying, it could be interesting to see what they do with that.
Dystopian world? Check. Cool sci-fi other planet stuff ? Check. Forbidden love affair between pretty people? Check. Said pretty people on another planet defying the big, bad government that's trying to keep them apart? Double check.
Basically, this movie has a lot of elements that are right up my alley. Plus it looks visually stunning and well produced. It's also really interesting that the main characters are named Adam (Jim Sturgess) and Eden (Kirsten Dunst), and they're separated. And there's falling. Just saying, it could be interesting to see what they do with that.
The Host (March 29)
But...but...It's based on a novel by the same author as Twilight....It's about aliens inhabiting human bodies....It's got a cheesy looking love triangle. Say it isn't so!
Yeah, okay, BUT the trailer actually makes it look really exciting and interesting. And there are aliens, and car chases, and Diane Kruger, and fighting for freedom! It's obviously a big budget film with a high production value. So it will at least look cool. And it seems like the story could go either way. It could be awesome, or it could be kinda meh. But in a hypothetical world where I'm not too cheap to go to the movies, I'd give it a chance.
Honorable Mention (or, It Makes Me Sad When Movies I Don't Want to See are Full of Actors I Love):
Jack the Giant Slayer (March 1): Okay, it looks kinda dumb, really. But it has such a good cast! I mean, Ewan McGregor is almost reason enough to see it. But also Stanley Tucci, Bill Nighy, Nicholas Hoult....And maybe "dumb" is a harsh descriptor. I'm sure it's a fun movie.
Stoker (March 1): This looks creepy and disturbing, and I'm not even really recommending it. I just want the world to know that Nicole Kidman, Matthew Goode, Mia Washikowska, and Dermot Mulroney are in a movie together and it should be awesome, but it's this instead. :/ I mean, it looks unique, and possibly interesting, just not for me.
Speaking of which, do you guys ever just want to watch a movie because it has an amazing cast? Is it just me? Like, there's this movie coming out in November called August: Osage County. Who knows if it will be any good? It doesn't sound all that fascinating. But, you guys...the cast! Benedict Cumberbatch. Ewan McGregor. Julia Roberts. Meryl Streep (who will probably have an affair in the movie because she does that just about as often as Sean Bean dies). Abigail Breslin. And Dermot Mulroney (Okay, I don't even know anything about him, but I know my mom really likes him, and that's why I keep mentioning him).
Hey, what about you? Who's your dream movie cast? Tell me in the comments!
Okay, one last thing about movies....This looks really good:
But...but...It's based on a novel by the same author as Twilight....It's about aliens inhabiting human bodies....It's got a cheesy looking love triangle. Say it isn't so!
Yeah, okay, BUT the trailer actually makes it look really exciting and interesting. And there are aliens, and car chases, and Diane Kruger, and fighting for freedom! It's obviously a big budget film with a high production value. So it will at least look cool. And it seems like the story could go either way. It could be awesome, or it could be kinda meh. But in a hypothetical world where I'm not too cheap to go to the movies, I'd give it a chance.
Honorable Mention (or, It Makes Me Sad When Movies I Don't Want to See are Full of Actors I Love):
Jack the Giant Slayer (March 1): Okay, it looks kinda dumb, really. But it has such a good cast! I mean, Ewan McGregor is almost reason enough to see it. But also Stanley Tucci, Bill Nighy, Nicholas Hoult....And maybe "dumb" is a harsh descriptor. I'm sure it's a fun movie.
Stoker (March 1): This looks creepy and disturbing, and I'm not even really recommending it. I just want the world to know that Nicole Kidman, Matthew Goode, Mia Washikowska, and Dermot Mulroney are in a movie together and it should be awesome, but it's this instead. :/ I mean, it looks unique, and possibly interesting, just not for me.
Speaking of which, do you guys ever just want to watch a movie because it has an amazing cast? Is it just me? Like, there's this movie coming out in November called August: Osage County. Who knows if it will be any good? It doesn't sound all that fascinating. But, you guys...the cast! Benedict Cumberbatch. Ewan McGregor. Julia Roberts. Meryl Streep (who will probably have an affair in the movie because she does that just about as often as Sean Bean dies). Abigail Breslin. And Dermot Mulroney (Okay, I don't even know anything about him, but I know my mom really likes him, and that's why I keep mentioning him).
Hey, what about you? Who's your dream movie cast? Tell me in the comments!
Okay, one last thing about movies....This looks really good:
Unfortunately, I have no idea when it's coming to theaters. Aaaaand, neither do the filmmakers from what I gather.
Now it's time for Song of the Week! (Sorry Amber, I stole your feature!)
Yes, it's One Direction. But come on, it's for charity. And the PRIME MINISTER is in the video! Actually, that's really why I like it so much. Not a huge fan of their cover of the song. But the Prime Minister! That's just kind of funny.
Now it's time for Song of the Week! (Sorry Amber, I stole your feature!)
Yes, it's One Direction. But come on, it's for charity. And the PRIME MINISTER is in the video! Actually, that's really why I like it so much. Not a huge fan of their cover of the song. But the Prime Minister! That's just kind of funny.
Aaaand here's a better song: George Blagden's cover of Ed Sheeran's "This."
Can I just marry him, please? <3
Okay, long blog ends here. Gotta grab a sandwich before fencing!
Love,
A.B.
Okay, long blog ends here. Gotta grab a sandwich before fencing!
Love,
A.B.
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